Rings, Pigs and Fashion on 'The Real Housewives of

fingersshoes

Tonight on The Real Housewives of Miami ... someone will DIE! Spoiler alert: It's a pig. I'll let you decide how you feel about that.
Larsa's living in a zoo. When her kids do well in school, they get an award,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so naturally they had to go pick up "some lizards" (as ya do!) and a rabbit. Hopefully the nannies can take care of the extra pets and keep track of them and try not to get nicknamed after one of them.
Alexia is going to a pig farm to kick off her cooking party. She's going so that she can pick her very own pig to slaughter. Hell to the no. Alexia's just worried that the pig will stink. Most dead things do.
Philippe just proposed to Marysol. It was relatively casual, aside from the ring that was not at all casual. It was an effing costume jewelry cocktail ring (in size). Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the ring was from Elsa's collection. Marysol has decided she wants to elope and get married in Aspen. Just in time for the season finale (in two weeks, I think)! I'm all for nothing taking longer than it needs to.
The pig is dead in Alexia's kitchen. Her husband wants her to cut it up some more or something and, understandably, she doesn't want to. Herman covers up the face with a napkin and assumes that will make everything OK. In the end, Herman breaks it, bastes it, then covers it up with a sheet and puts a candle on top. OK![link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Lea Black has a bad sense of style. She loves the acid wash mom jeans and looking like a crazy person. Loves it. So watching Lea shop is a little painful. She tries on shirts on top of the shirt and jacket she's wearing, then adds a dress on top of that. She's not a shopper, she's a collector/buyer. She walked out of the store with even more ugly clothes.
Alexia went all out for her pig-eating party, so all the ladies threw on their best muumuus. Lea made a big deal about the pig, which didn't look nearly as nasty as it used to in the kitchen. She was like "OH MY GOSH,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T," and Herman loved it. So Lea doesn't eat meat, Larsa doesn't eat pork, and Alexia doesn't eat pork. Cool party.[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
They make the wine glasses huuuuge in Miami! Marysol and Philippe awkwardly announce that they're getting married and Lea, who kind of ruined the announcement, makes a joke about it not lasting long and Phillipe needing a green card. She's tacky. Laughing after you say something mean doesn't make it any less mean.
[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]